Thoughts.

Okay I know its been  while but I have had other things on my mind so deal. Over the past few weeks I have been doing some introspection amongst other things, I found out a fair few things about myself like, for instance; I tend to live in the now I always wanted to know how to live in the moment but that is like  bird asking how to fly while in flight. I also learned that I am not the sort of person you should ask for empathy. Not for any reason I may have stated in the past but rather because I don't have the capacity to empathise not the academic understanding of the technique, that I have I just don't have the capability as a human being to give that much of a fuck about you, I'll happily help point the way for you (as I did many times for the Ex-girlfriend even though she will never give this devil his due) but the choice, and the work that will be  needed to be done is yours alone to do.

I went to a Big Country concert with Paul, a family friend, because his daughter either didn't want to go or could not go due to prior arraignments; I don't know nor do I care that is the past and therefore it shall stay there also it is none of my concern. As the concert got underway, with Gun as the support act, I noticed that I was the youngest person there and that the album Big Country were performing came out when I was 2. This was fine by me as I am all up for some good music and I did do some research into the band in the run up. I did not expect the mosh pit though which catapulted me to the bar which for myself was rather serendipitous as I wanted to quench the Pharaohs sock that was my mouth. So I propped up the bar until the end of the set which turned out to be the entire bleeding album I finally met up with Paul outside the venue which was the O2 Academy in Birmingham.

Yesterday I was with my friend when the Ex-girlfriend called for a pickup from the Alexandra Hospital (the Local A&E) I learned from him that she supposedly still cares for me, Bullshit! You don't undertake a year long systematic campaign of psychological abuse because you care you, do it because of a need to control everything around you. I am and have always been something of a free spirit and Wendy could not handle that so she did what she did, and her health deteriorated when I stopped playing along with her suicide game.

So please don't claim something you never showed to me Wendy, and stop living in the past that is half your problem. You exist in that rotting shed where you were raped, that is why you have nightmares about it when your body develops the inevitable resistance to the drugs you take for your mind. If you aren't willing to listen to me that is your problem not mine your therapists will only tell you the same as I have here. time will prove me right. The other half of your problem lies with your own choices in life, the caue of which was your family upbringing not me.

So I'll sign off with the usual brightest blessings to all.
Steven