Looking Back

I know its been a while but there have been a few changes recently, one of which has been my state of mind and my relationship with Wendy, another has been a change in my medical state. Looking back on my blog I have noticed that it is incredibly whiny and self pitying not what I wanted in the slightest  but it happened, possibly due to the unresolved issues I have with my family in particular my rather abusive father which I'll explain fully later after I work out what I want to say about him, but suffice to say the abuse was mostly psychological along with years of subtle programming.

Earlier in the year I changed my doctors sergery and finally recieved the help I needed for years, my current doctor put me on Sertraline Hydrochloride at fifty milligrams. So I took one after I filled out the precsrption when I had some lunch, the effect was almost instantainious, everything suddenly became interesting and lighter in myself. After doing the shopping which is on a Wednesday for us I had to fight to keep myself from examening everything at close quarters. Though my treatment of Wendy has yet to get out of the three day cycle she has told me of numerous times along with several arguements that have ended in another destroyed cup and myself almost being thrown out of the flat, admittedly I had been playing her but only for her own good.

To explain this will take some time and maybe another blog from the heart, I have wound up with a Guinea Pig of my own which has helped me in my own personal journey. It took a few hours for us  to name this little fuzzball but we finally settled on Gizmo, now he was not really intended to e mine but he sort of adopted me when we got him after Alphonse died. Something else I'll put in my next blog due to the sheer grief I felt and still feel now because I was not there for him or Wendy, well I'll end it there for now because of the little fuzzy is watching me with the fuss me look.

Be Excellent to each other and Blessed Be o all
Steve