before you say a thing.

Okay before anything happens here, I read a recent post of the Ex the subject of which is Bullying and Hypocrisy. Now she lumps me in with those who bullied her but in a more round about way, I will admit; as I have before that I did Bully her at first because I was Stupid and had a dependency on Codeine. This fact established I would not be surprised if she decides to document, what she can "remember", what crimes I committed against her.

Now as you have read above I had a stupid dependency on the painkiller Codeine, this drug is derived from opium which is well documented for its capability to obliterate an individuals memory and consciousness very much like Morphine; its badder older brother. so a fair amount of my memory is somewhat blank as to what I may or may not have done in the opening months of our misguided relationship. One exception is the use of the statement of 'I did save your life.'on one occasion only, the gain of which was the netbook I am currently using to type this blog on. Which Wendy told everyone was a Birthday Present.

Now I have appologised to her many times but without any memory of what I had done I only had her word to go on, instead she finally said "there aren't enough sorry's in you.' now I began to have my doubts as to her intentions after I came off the drug in the September of 2009, of course I had a few relapses as addicts do, but I dismissed them as I wanted to give the relationship a go and to try to make it work. So I went, willingly, into couples counseling with her but she called that off when she decided that I was using some Jedi mind trick to get our counselor on my 'side'. Not so, I cannot and will not influence an individual who is in a professional capacity trying to help.

Now if I did do any Bullying behavior again I am sorry but it was unintentional and careless of me but there is no going back to fix the problem, Wendy did state that:

 because of a certain ex boyfriend, my confidence was so shattered that I was becoming agoraphobic, too afraid to even look out of a window and getting to the point where I would seldom leave the bedroom, but that is a whole other story that I will address later.

My Journey Every Step of the way W Bostock 2012

 The behaviors stated in that quote were her own choice and nothing to do with e, in fact by that time I was only concerned with the welfare of the pets we had at the time. To be honest I stopped giving that much of a shit whether she was alive or not after she tried to take all of her pills and the bluff busting incident, her confidence was and still is her own responsibility.

As for her actions I documented in one of my earlier posts on this Blog, New Beginnings I think it was. They were a deliberate set of actions and choices that she took in order to gain some control over another individual. Those actions are given the title of Psychological abuse a form of Bullying so before she starts to "explain" my actions she needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and take responsibility for her own despicable behavior and accept that she is as much of a Hypocrite a the rest of us. just because she was treated the way e was does not give her the right to do the same to another human being, I understand that I am capable of such actions and I may have perpetrated them upon her But the difference lies in the fact that I am willing to take responsibility for my choices in order to make those actions possible.

This leaves the question she needs to ask herself. Do I honestly Have the right to carry on this charade of blamelessness when I am as bad as those who bullied me at school? Only she can answer that question and take the appropriate action I cannot do anything more than I am now. though If she really wants to we could take this on National TV and settle this once and for all.

Well its late and I'm missing more keys than I would like, so this is Steven signing off with a Brightest Blessings to you all and love to all.

Steven