Stuff I've learned

There are a fair few things I have come to understand over the past few years though from my past relationship and just watching world events unfold, one is you cannot have two rules in one house and not expect conflict nor can you have rich and poor in that same house without conflict you see it in Europe all to clearly as the Euro-zone slowly implodes. Greece is going through seriously hard times and Spain is rapidly following suit to an extent, the problem here is that you have a pan-European currency without a single pan-European government to back it up this breeds animosity between those that have and those who don’t.

Relationship wise if you see your partner changing from something you fell for into something else they aren’t changing at all you just did not know them well enough before you got together, this is where I refer back to my own relationship issues. Back when I was with Wendy and near the end she mentioned that I had changed and that she wanted me to go back to the person I was before when we got together, this was frankly impossible as back then (if you don’t already know this) I was dependant on Codeine. If you know anything about people on drugs they aren’t the person they really are even though they think they are, once I was free of the painkillers (thanks to Wendy) I was pummelled by what I had done to her back then most of which I have no memory of. The real me is a worrying mix of intelligent realist and impulsive fool along with a personality that is so laid back I would have to be dead to be any more relaxed about a great many things That’s not saying I’m lazy on the contrary I am quite happy to go with the flow when it suits me but I will also be quite proactive on a great many other things also. I just don’t worry about consequences I cannot foresee or control, as it doesn’t do me any good to worry in fact I find it rather foolish to waste time worrying about things I have no power over.

23.

Foolish is he who frets at night,

And lies awake to worry'

A weary man when morning comes,

He finds all as bad as before.

This stanza from the Havamal sums up my attitude quite well when it comes to worrying, if anybody wants I would quite happily post he whole thing as it is part of my spiritual ideal along with the nine noble virtues.

If you find yourself in the position of finding out you are with the wrong person, I advise you take some time out from relationships for a while and take a look at yourself. Ask some hard questions about yourself I personally like “who are you? What do you want?” they tend to be hard enough to answer to keep you occupied for some time, once you are comfortable with yourself go back and date your next prospective partner for a few months as we all put up a mask when we aren’t comfortable, its only when we get comfy with a person we let our true selves out and that’s when it gets messy if you have rushed it. Rushing into a relationship for whatever reason is a bad move Wendy and myself rushed our relationship and look how it turned out, I would love to have dated her properly and I wouldn’t say no later as I frankly need the practice. 

Before anything is said I know how she feels about me.

Steven